Divine comedy and friendship

“Gee but it’s great to be back home, home is where I want to be.” – Simon & Garfunkel

So there I was, posing for a photo on the bank of a magnificent river pool near the Peruvian border, thinking about my life, my goals, my ex-girlfriend and my future, and all of a sudden a deep sense of peace came over me. Everything went quiet in my mind. I could only hear the merry chirping of the birds, the sound of water flowing into the lagoon and Wilfred’s voice calling out, “Ollie, a little to the left. No! Go back. There. Stay there.” I felt calm, happy and peaceful. And I realized, I felt at home, because even if just for a few seconds, that was where I wanted to be: in nature with a true and sincere friend.

Lately I had been feeling morose, mainly because I felt homesick. The problem was that I had looked at pictures of Budapest and I realized that my home wasn’t Budapest anymore. I knew, if I had flown back, I wouldn’t have been happy. I wouldn’t have felt like I had finished what I started in August.

I thought I felt at home and safe with my girlfriend, but after the relationship ended, I realized that I was simply feeding myself with what I wanted to believe, putting her on a pedestal she didn’t deserve, simply because she knew how to play me.

Before my excursion and revelation, I would have described her with words I had never heard in the bible, and wished for Dante’s Inferno to exist and her to experience the second circle, knowing fully well that I would have ended up in the sixth circle myself. However, after my emotional cleansing, I made my peace with her decisions and actions.

I accepted the fact that I had come to Ecuador to have experiences about which I could write and I got exactly that. Maybe a little more than I had bargained for, but in hindsight, every rewarding and painful moment was worth it, and I wouldn’t change anything about it. I have grown as a person and will return to Europe with many experiences that will yield me stories for many years. So for that I thank her for.

I would also like to express my gratitude to my friends in Ecuador and overseas, who have helped me during these last challenging weeks, talking to me and making me eat (thanks sis), because all of you and my trip helped me realize that this is where I want to be now. This is home.